**Reminder: This will be the last post you’ll receive from “Writing Wilder” — starting in June, the name of this Substack will be changed to The WilderNest. The content will be the same, the name is just changing to reflect it.
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Today's post has a quick reflection, followed by the end-of-the-month collection of mundane magic moments, links I loved, books I finished, and what I'm looking forward to in June. The sections are clearly marked, so feel free to jump ahead.
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May has quickly become one of my favourite months over the last few years. I think when I was younger, I wasn’t able to appreciate it as much, but now I savour every new flower and bird I see, the warmth, and all of the fun things that happen this time of year. This year, I had some days that felt deliciously slow and some that blew by in the best way. It’s been busy but not rushed. I’m grateful.
Every time I write an update like, “my life is really okay, actually” I start to feel really guilty to be experiencing some of the best parts of my life when so many are experiencing the worst parts of theirs. It’s hard to hold that grief alongside my own personal contentment and joy, and I’m sure that’s true for many of you as well, so I want to honour that.
Being so grounded and present in my life has allowed me to feel safe and happy in ways that feel in direct opposition to what I know is happening all over the world, but it is also the only reason I’m able to hold it all together without falling apart. If there was ever a time for me to be more able to face challenges, it’s now.
This practice of collecting and sharing mundane magics each month really does help me notice all of the good in my life and feel more grateful for it while carrying all the rest of it; so, onto the magic.
✨️ Mundane Magics ✨️
Sybil reading chapter books: My oldest (6, in kindergarten) started bringing home chapter books for her nightly reading this month. Her teacher could tell she needed a bit more of a challenge, and she’s blown through them along with many of our books at home. It makes me so happy to see her becoming so fluent and really enjoying herself, since reading is such a huge part of my life.
Market trip with my mom: Last month I mentioned that we were planning to go to our local library vendor market, and we did, but we also stopped at the local farmer’s market on the way there. It’s been a while since I got to enjoy time with my mom all to myself, and it was a really lovely day. I came home with a few small things from local artists — stickers, a shell trinket dish — as well as a new favourite snack, which leads me to…
Everything sourdough toast with mushroom pesto and goat cheese: Oren (my youngest) and I ate this every day for a week. I picked the mushroom pesto up from the farmer’s market and the everything sourdough from the vendor market and knew instinctively that they were meant to be together. I’m deeply grateful that they both are from local businesses so I can get them year-round.
Making collages with the kids: I’ve been slowly cutting out a bunch of pictures I printed for collage making, and of course as soon as they saw me with them, the kids wanted some of their own. I sat down with each of them on different days and helped them put collages together with some of what they picked, which we’ll definitely be doing again.
Playing games with the kids and Jon: We have a card game called Sushi Go! that the kids can both play, and I spent a few days after Sybi got home from school enjoying that with them. Sybil and Oren are also able to play Mario Kart (with bumpers) now, so we’ve been racing as a family some days. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve also been playing Stardew Valley. Jon and I started a new farm together, but I also started playing on my own for the first time. I’m in hyperfixation mode, so I’ve been devoting quite a bit of time to it, and it’s been really fun.
Spending more time outside: When it hasn’t been raining, the weather this month has been really nice for spending time outside. I’ve been sitting out on the deck a bit more often, and the kids have loved playing out back. Jon has talked about getting a grill for quite a while and finally chose one and got it set up this month, so we’ve been outside grilling a bit as well. One night at sunset, it was raining really lightly, and we all ended up on the back deck with the kids playing in the rain. I’m trying to soak up what I can of this milder weather since the heat doesn’t play as well with my POTS.
Community yard sales: The community sales we go to happen one weekend a year and the size of the community is expansive - we could probably be out all day and not get to all of them. The kids found a handful of exciting new toys and I left with a book, some picture frames, and a spider plant for my mom. Someone was playing music and Oren danced in their driveway like he was on stage. A food truck parked at the front had lemonade and funnel cakes, which we grabbed before we left, and we also bought lemonade from a couple kids who were selling it at one of the sales. We came home tired (and in my and my husband's case, a little sunburnt) and it was great.
Kitchen reno first steps: We've been waiting for the right weather so Jon could work on a crawl space that was in some way a necessary precursor to our work in the new kitchen space.1 With that finally done, he can start the necessary wiring and plumbing, etc so we can move over appliances and (finally!) get a dish washer — cue the angel chorus. We had hoped to do all this within the first year or two of living here and we're coming up on our fourth year in the house, so it feels really good to be making some progress toward this project which will allow us to move around a lot of other things and have a more functional home.
The next generation of artists: We voted for the local school budget and board last week, and outside of the auditorium, they had student art displayed. I was absolutely in awe at some of the creativity and talent, and so happy that the kids at our local school are well supported in their art program. Something about it filled me with hope.
’s poem a day in May: This has been, as always, so generative. It’s not too late to go back and read through her beautiful poems and prompts, as well as all of the wonderful poems in the comments. Writing in community like this will always be one of my favourite things.
Links I Loved
These mothering poems from
are worth reading well beyond Mother’s Day.If you’ve been here a while, you probably know how much I deeply loved Becky Chambers’ A Psalm for the Wild-Built and A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, so naturally I loved what
wrote about Solarpunk and the possibility of a more imaginative future.- wrote a wonderfully expansive piece on autism this month, and they’re working on building a neurodiversity affirming resource library!
Books I Finished
Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan: This was an excruciatingly beautiful book of poetry. I don’t even have anything else to say, except that I highly recommend reading it.
The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey by Suzanne Stabile: I liked this as a follow-up to Stabile’s other two books, as it delves into relationships more specifically. I still wanted a bit more in certain areas, but overall I found it interesting.
Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha: This book is a series of essays that intersects queerness, race, poverty, sex work, and more, with disability at the center. I like the framing of disability justice because it is possible (and even likely, as each of us grows older) for every person to become disabled at any point. It benefits us all to examine the full breadth of all that the disabled experience can encapsulate and to understand that accommodating disabilities should always be the baseline because it is better for everyone. I found parts of the book to be a bit repetitive, which makes sense given the essay format. It was also difficult to read in long stretches because a lot of the experiences the author shares are heartbreaking and infuriating. But there's also a lot of hope, which I think is ultimately the point.
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke: WOW, I loved this book. I was thinking just before I picked it up that I wanted an immersive fantasy book to read and then I picked this up for a read-along and... well, it's not exactly what I thought I was looking for, but somehow it scratched the same itch? I wouldn't call it fantasy, but it is magical. It's atmospheric and mysterious. I got to the end and still don't have answers to all my questions, but I'm not bothered by that. I tend to enjoy books that defy categorization a bit, and this is definitely one of those. There are, apparently, some very different readings of this book and many people either love or hate the end. No book is for everyone, but this was absolutely for me. And the audio is *chef's kiss*.
Lumberjanes Volume 20: End of Summer by Kat Leyh and Shannon Watters: This is the last volume in this series, so naturally I cried. I loved this so much and will forward to revisiting with my kids when they're a little bigger.
You Are Here: Poetry in the Natural World by Ada Limón: I loved parts of this collection and didn't understand some of them very much at all, and I think that's okay. I've heard of quite a few of the poets included but many were new to me, and there were a lot of lines that really touched me. It wasn’t exactly what I expected, but I think that was the point.
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle: I tried reading this when I was younger and it was a little ahead of me. I'm glad I decided to give it another try. I really enjoyed the characters L'Engle created and how everything came together in the end. Definitely not just for kids.
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen: I've read Pride and Prejudice many times, and am familiar with both Emma and Sense and Sensibility, but this is so different than Austen's other work. I found it really enjoyable in unexpected ways. I especially enjoyed the satiric humour.
A Song for You and I by K. O'Neill: This is a graphic novel with the kind of casual queer rep that I love most. I love O'Neill's art style and stories. They're so gentle and kind. The style of this one seemed a bit sketchier and less fleshed out than some of O’Neill’s other work, but I didn’t mind that.
Low-Demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm and Finding Connection with your Uniquely Wired Child by Amanda Dieckman: I think this book is helpful and I understand that the point of the method is to apply it to your own situation, but I did find myself wanting more concrete examples of how/when to drop demands, simply because my brain works well with more direct application, even if I have to make adjustments. I think many people will find some of the examples she does use very uncomfortable, but, again, the point is to figure out what works for your child and family, so that didn’t bother me. If nothing else, it’s a good reminder to reconsider rules or habits as a parent that you’re only following through on because you feel like you “should” or because that’s just what you’ve always done.
The Medium is the Massage by Marshall McLuhan: A quick read, with a unique format. It reminded me of a zine. I found a lot of it interesting but it was also hard to follow in parts and didn't have much of a conclusion. I like how it invites us to consider the mediums we use to interact with the world, and I especially enjoyed McLuhan's take on education.
What I’m looking forward to in June
The WilderNest: I know I mentioned it at the beginning of this post, but I’m excited to shift to a name that feels like it fits a bit better and to continue adjusting this space to fit my growth.
Pride: I realized I was bi and came out (the first time) in 2019, about six months after Sybil was born. Because of the timing, I’ve never made it to a pride event, but there’s one in June that I think I’ll be up for, and I’m excited to be surrounded by so many other queer people and allies from our community.
Sybi's last day of school: Our summer break officially starts in June, and I’m looking forward to transitioning to a new routine with the kids for summer. We started a tradition last year of celebrating the beginning and end of the school year by going out for ice cream, which we all love.
Faerie Festival: The New York State Faerie Festival happens one weekend a year in June and happens to be close enough for a fairly easy day trip. I’m hoping it won’t be too hot or muddy, but mostly I’m just excited. It’s a really fun environment.
How was your month of May? I know a lot of people find it overwhelming and chaotic. I’d love to hear about it in the comments. And as always, feel free to share if this resonated with you!
This isn’t sarcasm. I genuinely can’t remember exactly why it was necessary, I just know it was.
May was like every other month, comprised of days and daze, toils and troubles, boils and bubbles - but also many opportunities masquerading as problems, blessing masquerading as testing, and life masquerading as nothing other than life. Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Have you read "Persuasion"? I read most of Austen's books before that one, and then I read "Persuasion" and it immediately became my favorite. Yours is the third nudge I've had to read "Piranesi," so I think I'm going to put it on hold soon :).