Community and connection

A list of ways I'm hoping to live my word[s] of the year

**Hi friends! If you're reading this in the email, it might cut off due to length. Viewing in the browser or on the app can fix this.

Before we get started, I want to share the guest post I wrote with

Hanna Keiner (she/her)

(with some awesome artwork by

Audhdpainter

!) about friendship loss through a neurodivergent lens. I felt so honoured when Hanna reached out to me to work together, and I had such a wonderful experience. I’m really grateful to her for helping me find a way to write about these painful experiences that felt really healing.

Do You Still Think About Me?

I also want to say a quick welcome to any new subscribers - I know a few of you have found me recently (likely because of the guest post) and I’m so glad to have you here! Please feel free to introduce yourself in the comments or through DM/email if you’d like!

---

Many of you will likely remember my 2025 word[s] of the year: community and connection. If you’re new and would like to read about why I chose them, you can read my original post here.

Today, I wanted to share some of the ways I'm hoping to lean into community and connection this year.

I know many of these may seem very simple and small, but I think that we have, as a society, long undervalued the importance of small, simple connections. I believe we need each other now more than ever, and that even the smallest and simplest of connections can help lead to deeper, more lasting ones.

We will all have our own individual needs and limitations when it comes to accessing community and connection, and I think it’s important to name the positive, accessible ways that work for us.

So, here they are, in no particular order:

1. Saying “yes” to opportunities for creative collaboration: I’ve had a few experiences now of collaborative writing through Substack; I’ve played poetry telephone with

   Lisa Jensen
   and our
   100 Poems
   pals, did an interview with
   Aleesha Neal
   , and now my first guest post with
   Hanna Keiner (she/her)
   . I also contributed a creative prompt for
   Sarah Shotts
   ’ Ember workbook/art journal for mothers. My ADHD brain has a habit of forgetting that I’ve done things like this and that I’m capable of doing things like this, so every time someone reaches out to work with me, I am astonished and feel wholly unqualified. But I have decided that, henceforth, I will joyfully say “yes” to any collaborative opportunity that feels right, regardless of how qualified I feel, because it has been worth it every time.¹

2. Sharing food with friends and neighbours: I don’t always have the energy for baking or cooking, but when I do, I often make A LOT. I already have a pretty good habit of sharing banana bread when I make it — I think, maybe, because that’s what my mom has always done — but I want to get better at remembering to offer some of our favourite foods to friends and neighbours who might enjoy it when we have more than we need.

3. Sending snail mail: Early this month, a very kind friend² called me to ask if I would like to write letters to each other. Thanks to

   Sarah Shotts
   ’ snail mail offering, I was already making plans to send more snail mail to friends this year, and I joyfully accepted this offer. I have a couple of friends that I occasionally send mail to, and I’m going to be expanding the list (as well as my ideas of what to send). I’m also thinking of offering my own option for receiving some kind of snail mail from me here, but I haven’t worked out exactly what/how to do it.³

4. Read-alongs: I’m sure many of you could’ve seen this one coming, since I’ve shared a lot about my joyful read-along experiences so far, but I wanted to include it because I have been shifting my reading plans for the year to include a lot more of them than I’d originally intended, and I’m very excited to be able to connect with others in this way. There’s just a depth and richness to experiencing a book and being able to discuss it with others.

   Footnotes and Tangents
   has a wonderful directory for this which gets updated monthly.

5. Going to local meetings: This one will be very dependent on my mental and physical health, but one of my close friends had the idea to get a group together to attend local meetings about important decisions for our community while knitting or doing some other form of craft. I love this idea, because it would mean I wouldn’t have the anxiety of having to speak and could unobtrusively collect information to be passed on to a larger group, so people know when and what decisions are being made in order to use our collective energy more effectively.

6. Volunteering: Again, this will be dependent on energy levels, and I don’t yet have any specific ideas about where/how to volunteer locally yet, but my friends and I have discussed getting more involved together, and it helps knowing that I wouldn’t have to do it alone.

7. More snuggles/hugs: I am the kind of autistic who enjoys and benefits from a nice tight hug or quiet cuddle with my loved ones on a pretty regular basis. But I’ve noticed recently that I’ve been so overstimulated from my kids’ everyday noise and movement that I have been pulling back from even these very comforting moments of contact because my body is just constantly bracing for the next screech or bounce. It makes me sad to realize that I haven’t been able to be as physically close with the people I love most, so I’m going to be making an extra effort to make more intentional space for this.

   

   Snuggling obviously also includes my fur-babies - this is Kit, adorably getting in the way of my reading.

8. Scheduling friend time: I’ve already mentioned craft club, but I also wanted to make more of a habit of actually scheduling dates for me and my friends to get together. It's so easy to talk about doing things sometime without making concrete plans (because we’re all busy and it can be tricky to coordinate schedules) but I want to prioritize in-person connection more this year. My friends and I are having a Galentine’s party this weekend, and we’ve already talked about making plans to go thrifting and see a movie together at some point this year, as well as having brunch together periodically. My goal is to solidify these plans.

9. Connecting with the earth/nature: I am the kind of person who can easily go a week or two without stepping foot outside of my house simply because I don't have a reason to leave it. I am trying to remind myself that my well-being is a reason.

10. Complimenting other creatives: I don’t always have the bandwidth to do this, and I’m trying very hard to spend less time on my phone, but I want to make a point when I can to take a moment and leave a thoughtful, positive comment and/or share anything that really resonates with me, because I know how much that can mean to someone who has shared their art or writing with the world.

11. Taking steps to self-publish my poetry collection (!): This is the first time I’ve mentioned here⁴ that I’m writing a book (!!) because I feel a little imposter-y about it. It’s a very heart-focused, vulnerable work, and what I am hoping for with this collection is, if nothing else, to help someone feel a little less alone. I’ll share more details as I start figuring out next steps, but I currently have a manuscript that, though still in need of editing, feels like it is approaching complete (!!!). That’s why, as I recently mentioned, I’ll be making more of an effort to share my poetry here — so you’ll actually know what to expect from my book, and, hopefully, to connect with anyone who might be interested in my words.

I hope this little list has felt encouraging in some way. I would love to hear any and all of the ways (big or small!) that you’re making connections in your own life. And as always, feel free to share if this resonated with you!

1. I should probably mention here that I recently created a website! If you’ve connected with my work and you’re interested in working with me in any of the ways I mentioned (or in a way that I didn’t), please feel free to reach out! I’m happy to discuss vague ideas and figure things out together - that’s how Hanna and I worked out the guest post! I had someone reach out to me about potentially doing a podcast which, if I’m honest, scares the absolute shit out of me, but I’m still considering it!

2. (who I met last year through the craft club I created with my friends at our local library — another opportunity I’m glad I said “yes” to!)

3. If you’re reading this and feel excited about the possibility of receiving snail mail from me, please let me know! It would be helpful to gauge interest. If you have specific ideas about what you’d like to receive, all the better! So far, I’m considering poem prints, zines, and personal letters. Share your ideas in the comments or send me a DM/email! This would be a paid offering (just enough to cover shipping!) and would likely be available either through a Substack subscription or (preferably) through my Ko-fi link. If you have preferences about that, please share those as well!

4. Here being on my own Substack — this announcement won’t come as a surprise to everyone, because I’ve shared about it here and there in comments with other writer friends. (Shout out to my early reader friends who have given me priceless feedback! I’m so, so grateful.)