End of October
Mundane magic, links, books, and a Samhain reflection on endings
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Today's post has a bit of a reflection, followed by the end-of-the-month roundup of mundane magic moments, links I loved, and books I finished. The sections are clearly marked, so feel free to jump ahead.
I've been unsurprisingly (but also probably unnecessarily) agonizing over what to call these roundup posts since I began sharing them.
From now on, I'm simply titling them “End of [current month].”
Partly because I share them at the end of each month, and partly because, as we're often reminded this time of year, life is a series of endings; moments, and seasons, and phases.
We try to capture what we can, savour it, and save it for later. And that's really what I'm doing here; grasping at the wisps of memory and magic to mark these moments and preserve them for posterity.
I feel like it's apropos to share this today, on Samhain, and even more so, since earlier this week I was abruptly reminded about the impermanence of my writing.
I've had a note saved in my phone for the last couple of months, for keeping the moments I wanted to include in these roundups. I've been in a regular habit of adding things, so the list had gotten long enough for me to forget certain things that were on it - which is, of course, why I needed the list in the first place.
A few nights ago, I opened the note to add something, only to find that it had somehow been wiped clear, and in its place was a dream I'd meant to record in a separate note.1
At this point, I had already been having a bit of a rough night, because dinner hadn't gone as planned, and this pushed me over the edge and into tears. I went to bed that night feeling really defeated and thinking about how easily all of what I've written here - or anywhere, really - could be swept away.
People say the internet is forever, but after watching the devolution of Twitter, among other things, it's hard to say what might become of all of this over time.
In the grand scheme of things, I guess it doesn't matter all that much, but to me, this is an opportunity to share pieces of myself and observances about the world, and that matters to me. It matters to have some kind of continuity.
This month has been a stark reminder that no matter how many plans I make and rituals I create and ways I try to hold onto stability, things change and things end and sometimes all we can do is grieve and pivot or start something new.
And, sometimes…
Sometimes, things work out. Sometimes, things we thought were lost are found.
After going to bed the other night, I suddenly remembered that I had - very intentionally - copied the list from the note into a draft here on Substack, so that it would be safe. I even recalled that, as I did it, I had a vague thought that I might forget about having moved it and end up panicking, because of my ADHD (I would say, “note to self…” here, but I'll probably forget about this, too 😅).
So, thankfully, and without further ado, here is the complete End of October roundup:
✨️Mundane Magics✨️
Our dog, River, spent a little over two weeks in a board and train program last month, to help with her reactivity. We still have lots of work to do, but it was so wonderful to have her to come home. I love having her with me on the back deck in the mornings and snuggling on the couch again.
My mom got the opportunity to bring cookies to school for Sybi's pre-k class at the beginning of the month, which was such a joy for both of them (as well as for me)! I love that they had that moment together.
I've been periodically seeing whitetail butts in the mornings as deer run away, or occasionally seeing them moving by quietly as they graze, but there was one morning earlier this month that one of them stopped and watched me and River with its head resting on our fence, then casually walked on. It was such a cool experience, being observed by a deer instead of the other way around.
Something I've really grown to appreciate in the mornings is Jon (my husband) heating up my water for tea or coffee, and getting my cup ready to take my fiber. It's a little thing, but it really makes a difference to the start of my day by making me feel loved and cared for.
I spent about a week straight taking pictures of the trees in our back yard every morning and noticing the leaves change. It feels different than just watching it out the window, which is all I was capable of last year, and I'm grateful to be able to enjoy it along with my morning ritual.
*These are all different days and different times, no filters
I'm starting to recognize a couple bird calls! One of my favourites is the Carolina Wren.
We got a new book, and Oren tried to lick the ice cream on the pages, which was desperately adorable.
While driving to a couple appointments this month, we got a great view of the leaves in the mountains and fields, which are always beautiful, but we also saw lots of wildflowers. I read something early this month about how flowers in autumn just seem to get wilder, and somehow that feels just right to describe them.
Early this month, I wrote about struggling in my marriage, and while relationships don't heal overnight, we have been starting to connect more in certain ways, which has felt good.
The sunlight coming through the trees as the leaves change in the woods behind our house has been a literal bright spot in my days.
There was a morning recently when the sky was especially purple/pink and the moon was visible, and it felt so magical. It's so difficult to capture the way out really looks, but we try anyway, you know?
I finally started knitting my cardigan!2 And my friend Mary and I had a two-person knit night earlier this month, as well as going to Rhinebeck3 together for the NY Sheep and Wool festival.
My friends and I have Coloring club about every other week, but it often happens that one or more of us can't make it, and this month we all gathered at the same time for the first time in a while.
We took family pictures! We haven't had professional photos taken of us since Oren was born, and while we've been struggling a lot in that time, I still think there's value in capturing us all together as we are right now.4 My sweet friend from high school, Liz (Lula Portraits and Designs) took these for us.
This week,
introduced The Observatorium, an offshoot of which is so wonderful I don't have words to describe it. I have a small budget for paid subscriptions here, and hers was a no-brainer.
Links I loved
I know many (most?) of you have probably come across
’s post about how to light the dark months but it feels worth sharing regardless. And for peaceful Halloween traditions, I loved this post by .This piece by
about the infuriating nature of the idea of “Mom's night out” (whether you can see past the paywall or not) is a worthwhile read. In a similar - because patriarchy - vein, this piece by about how men think they're not the target audience for things written/ created by women when we'd all benefit from them having that information is *chef's kiss*.- wrote about living as if the world is ending and PHEW. CPTSD is real. And, touching on another aspect of mental health I can identify with, shared about chronic illness and the need to be authentic about our struggles in order to find joy.
If you're looking for a healthier relationship with your phone, this piece by
about the phone foyer method might be for you. I'm not there yet, but I'm working in that direction.- wrote this stunning piece with an observation about light and kids and bombs and… honestly, please just read it. Likewise, this reflection about the heaviness of living life while the world is burning by is, as always, so timely. Similarly, shared this post about doing the ordinary work of life when she doesn't know what else to do. And wrote about creativity as a tool for empathy.
Another popular post you may have already seen that still feels worth sharing is this one by
about the mid-life transformation (portal) women-of-a-certain-age tend to go through; I think I might have arrived at mine early. 😅- wrote about the need to stop debating genocide with helpful links at the end to act to help those affected in Palestine. And wrote about the need for nuanced conversations when it's hard to know what to say about such a polarized issue.
If you're always looking for more diverse representation in media like I am, you'll probably enjoy this list of fat positive kids’ media by Laura at
.Last, but not least,
and are compiling a seasonal shout out called Substack Love, and you can nominate your favourites in the comments section of this post. I probably did too many and also feel like I missed a bunch?? I'm glad it's going to be ongoing!
Books I finished
Feel Something, Make Something by Caitlin Metz: This is a beautiful and tender exploration of creativity. I will no doubt be returning to this in the future. I loved everything, but I found the mind and body mapping exercises especially helpful. I recommend it, especially if you're in a creative slump.
Touched Out by
: This book was incredible. It took me some time to get through it, because some of the content is really heavy - necessarily so. There are connections that I think I've only previously drawn subconsciously which felt both infuriating and liberating to hear stated so directly. It's so smart and thoughtful and I absolutely recommend it.A Dreadful Splendour by B.R. Myers: A spooky, atmospheric read that I completed for my online book club. It has mystery, it has romance, and it's set in the 1800s. It reminded me a bit of Jane Eyre. Definitely would recommend, and will likely reread.
Blessed Samhain and happy Halloween! As always, I'd love to hear from you in the comments, and please feel free to share if this resonated with you!
I've been writing down my dreams every night because I'm in the process of trying to learn how to lucid dream. I've been reading Lucid Dreaming Made Easy by Charlie Morley.
Pattern is the Heirloom Quilt Cardigan by Katryn Seeburger (I'm linking to her linktree so you can access the pattern via etsy or ravelry, whichever is most accessible).
I wrote a bit about all of that here; while there are things about the overall experience I’d have changed, ultimately I always enjoy her company.
This post is already getting really long, so here's the link for more on my personal instagram.
Lovely forest behind your house, lovely photos, and lots of great newsletters I haven’t read yet--maybe too many 😂
Thanks so much for the shoutout - what a beautiful newsletter!