Hi, friends! I know what you're probably thinking. “It's the middle of July! What's the rush?” And no, I didn't accidentally post early. Today's post is actually a combination of two different but somewhat related announcements/also kind of a pun? No rush intended.
**First things first: I'll be taking a break from writing here for most of the month of August. I'm going to be taking a social media break and decided it would be nice to take the pressure off my writing for a bit as well. It's my birthday month as well as the last full month we have before our trip to Maine and then the kids starting school, and I want to be present and soak it all in. I will be back for my usual end-of-the-month collection, but I might disappear for an extra week afterward because of our trip.
Now, for the other announcement…
I'm changing my name!1
For those of you who don't know (which might be most of you?), my given name has always felt like an ill-fitting piece of clothing. I wore it all this time because I thought I had to, and now I know that I'm allowed to let it go. I'm grateful for the gift, but it's time to exchange it for something that truly fits.
I've been going by A. in most online spaces for the last couple of years because I knew that I wanted to keep that as my first initial, but it's more of a placeholder than a name, especially for everyday, in-person use. It's taken me quite a while to decide what the A was actually for, and I danced around August at first because I thought it might be too on the nose since it's my birth month,2 but it kept resurfacing whenever I thought about my name.
August is such an evocative month. It reminds me of blueberry picking and family reunions with all the best food, creek wandering and pond swimming, school shopping and soaking up every last minute of time before the season ends — not to mention my birthday, of course. I think it may be the month that carries the most nostalgia for me. It's full of intensity that can be too much for some people, but it can also easily blur into the background. And, well... same.3 The word itself also just has a vibe that feels right. I don't know exactly how to explain it, it just fits.
Even after I let the idea of any potential weirdness go, I put off telling my husband because I was worried that once someone finally said it out loud, it might not feel right anymore.
As it turns out, I actually got this little flutter, like a bit of effervescent joy just bubbling up inside me. I think I knew right away that it was right — maybe even before he said it, deep down — but after that, there was no going back.
I've had this kind of itch every time I've had to use my given name for a long time now, and after trying on August, the itch became more pronounced.4 I started telling some close friends and family to help scratch it, and now I'm telling all of you.
So… hi!
I'm August.
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It's so nice to finally share this! If you're up for it, I'd love to hear any name-related stories or tidbits you'd like to share in the comments or via DM/email. And as always, feel free to share if this resonated with you.
To be quite clear, I recently changed my Substack name, which is not what this is about; This time I'm talking about my first name. I'm changing it socially at the moment, and the plan is to also do it legally, eventually, but here on Substack and for all of my writing, you'll still see my pen name: A. Wilder Westgate. You can all still call me A. in writing if you like. I find it endearing.
But, then… does it really make more sense to choose the name of a month you weren't born in?
This is not self-deprecating; I actually like this about myself.
Not a physical itch, more like a metaphorical one. A soul itch, if you will.
Your name sings in my ears, August!
Hello, August! I legally changed my full name when I was 21, and it changed my life. I am excited for you! ❤️